Future World Rulers

makes me happy.


Kevyn always says, 'Women would rule the world if they didn't hate each other so much.'

It took me a long time to understand what he meant as my life journey thus far has introduced me to many non-judgmental, loving, caring and giving women. Still, over the course of time I have crossed paths with these ladies Kev speaks of - those who have allow their egos to take control over them, finding more strength in bringing other females down rather then in lifting them up.

Well I think it would be safe to say that Marla, the mother of lovely little Charlotte (pictured above), my friend of 27 years, and I are hoping to breed more of the former female kind.

Future rulers of the world if you will.

Me Too.

you can't raise (them) to be scared of life.
you got to brew some recklessness into them.

-royal tenenbaum
          

Trust

makes me happy.



I was having a really interesting conversation with someone the other day about when to stop parenting your children. This intelligent mother of 3 adult children said 'Never.'

I believe I have heard this very same story from my own parents. If I remember correctly, I'm fairly certain they told me I would understand when I became a parent myself.

Well honestly, I'm still not getting it. In fact Eckhart Tolle's words in A New Earth read even clearer and louder then before I had Byrdie.

The all-important question is: Are you able to fulfill the function of being a parent and fulfill it well, without identifying with that function, that is, without it becoming a role? Part of the necessary function of being a parent is looking after the needs of the child, preventing the child from getting into danger, and at times telling the child what to do and what not to do. When being a parent becomes an identity, however, when your sense of self is entirely or largely derived from it, the function easily becomes overemphasized, exaggerated, and takes you over. Giving children what they need becomes excessive and turns into spoiling; preventing them from getting into danger becomes overprotectiveness and interferes with their need to explore the world and try things out for themselves. Telling children what to do or not to do becomes controlling, overbearing.

What is more, the role-playing identity remains in place long after the need for those particular functions has passed. Parents then cannot let go of being a parent even when the child grows into an adult. Even when the child is forty years old, parents can't let go of the notion "I know what's best for you."

Now, I'm not saying that this lovely lady whom I was conversing with, or my own parents for that matter, were over-protective, overbearing parents. Just the opposite in fact.

Speaking for myself, I've always felt that my parents did an amazing job raising my sister and I. Always giving us enough slack to make learn from our own decisions and the experiences that resulted from said choices.

And while for the most part they don't parent us anymore, I find it so fascinating that they still feel the need, or desire, to.

In the end I believe it boils down to trust. Trusting that one day The Byrd will be well enough equipped to make all her own choices to live her very own best life ever - taking into account that her best life may be different from my own.

And also trusting in myself, that I have fulfilled my function as a parent as best as I possibly could (hopefully as well as my parents did), preventing my function from turning into a role-game we play with each other.

Freeing us both to simply enjoy each other.

A 30 Second Time Span

makes me happy.



These 4 photos were shot in the order they appear and there was a 30 second time span between the first shot and the last.

I find them too funny.

You can tell that right out of the blocks Byrdie is not too sure about playing tummy time here.

Evan - he's cool.



Even when Byrdie looses her s#!t, Evan's still all like, 'What's up? Why you cry?'


And Byrdie's all like, 'I don't know why - but you better join me!'

Evan, 'Ahhhhhhh!'


And then Evan's like, 'Was that good?'

Byrdie, 'Perfect! What do you want to do now?'

Knowing My Time & Place

makes me happy.


I didn't realize until I went out for dinner last week, how much time I've spent at home these last 3 months.

While enjoying a beverage at the bar before dinner Kev put his hand on my shoulder and asked me if I was okay. 'Yeah' I responded, 'there's just so many people around me right now - I just haven't been off the island in a while.'

And that's exactly how I felt. Like I have spent the past 3 months on a cozy little island with Kevyn, Cashius, and Byrdie. A place where days are only marked by plans for family or friends to come by. A very calm, peaceful, and happy place.

And here I was, off the island, a little shell shocked.


But I knew I would be fine. In fact, I knew I would be better then fine. I've always thought it was a healthy idea for couples to enjoy time away from their children and that's exactly what I planned to do.

And did.

Dinner was amazing. The food, the service, the conversation and the company - all made time off the island worthy.


The night club afterward?

Not so much.


The moral of the story isn't dinner - good, dancing - bad.


It's that there's a time and place for everything.


And at this time in my life, the place for dancing is on the island!

Alright, One More.

Really Dad?